Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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