For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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