I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
try to milk me bitch
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
