But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
lets start a swedish sibling band together
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize