Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
