Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
