Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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