I looked at my own cervix.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
