Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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