i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
