Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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