***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
