how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
