I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
