found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
