Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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