This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Randomize
