hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize