i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
