Plan B is the new Plan A
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
