my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
