so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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