what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
