Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
