The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
