good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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