My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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