hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
