He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
