But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
