Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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