So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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