My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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