Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
