is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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