i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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