Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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