so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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