Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize