Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
