so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize