Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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