hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
