I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
