feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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