Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
3pm strippers are depressing
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
