I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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