My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
home. puking in laundry basket.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
