He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the day after is always just damage control
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
