shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
