just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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