she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
