god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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