we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i think i just lost a toe
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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