AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
