The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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