I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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