I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My ass is underappreciated
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
