we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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