Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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