Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
