Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
