Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
how does that bad decision feel?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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