I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
