Betty ford says i'm here all night
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
