Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?

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(303): View more from Colorado

I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

this is not real life

(1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

it never is. after midnight never counts.

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(443): View more from Maryland

You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas

(603): View more from New Hampshire

and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you

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(309): View more from Illinois

i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.

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