I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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