You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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