Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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