I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
